big-ass hill

I am looking up a big-ass hill. It seems like everyone is moving on to bigger better things. They�re all buying condos, and the condo-dwellers are buying houses. There are plans for marriage and the married ones are planning/having kids. Even the bro, five years my junior, has a house (well it�s only a townhouse) and a GF who lives with him and just bought a new car. Me, the big bro, the guy that he used to look up to, is still living at home, single, and driving a �96 Civic. Even the sis has a secure, well-paying, cushy government job and a doctor BF. They are engineers, doctors, accountants, bankers, therapists, supervisors, consultants or have their own businesses. I�m a two-bit programmer who may be out of a job in a few years with all this outsourcing of IT work to places like India and China where pay is cheap and minds are bright. My photography sucks so the chances of me becoming a professional photographer are like NEVER. I have no business sense so don�t even think about starting up a business. I think I need to either win the lottery or marry a stinkin-rich chick. And nothing is happening in that department either. In the past year I�ve only met one single chick, and that was a setup that didn�t work out. I deleted my profile from Lavalife last month because that wasn�t working other. O.C. is driving me crazy, the madre is driving me crazy, the s-padre is driving me crazy. I just want to go on another quiet sea kayaking camping trip away from everyone, everything and all this. Yeah life is just a freakin piece of cake goddam bowl of freakin cherries.

And since I�m blowing sunshine up everyone�s ass today, I�m wondering when the world or at least Western Society is going to come to an end. Am I right in saying that most developed countries are run by or depend largely on corporations? That�s where they get money and that�s how jobs are created. And the way corporations exist is by making money. And to make money they need to sell stuff to you and me and other countries. And to keep making money there has to be more yous and mes buying stuff because how many TV�s, cars, houses, etc. does one person need? So more and more people need to buy stuff to keep the corporations happy to keep the countries happy. At some point in time this ever expanding buying of stuff is going to collapse on itself. There will come a point when there will be no more stuff to build all the stuff for all the yous and mes to buy. So what happens then? Yeah, ummmm happy thoughts.

So last night I went running after work and even though I was out-of-it for a week a still managed to hang in and finished in a decent time. As usual I was walking around in sweaty, stinky clothes and after dinner mixed up a batch of Ilford ID-11 developer. If I have time tonight I might develop my last roll of exposed Tri-X. I also want to order some books on drawing and painting. I heard the best way to learn about composition is from studying the works of not only photographers but of the old master painters like Rembrandt and da Vinci. Learning the techy bits like apertures and shutter speed is only half of it. I want to take photos as an art form and not just snap crappy vacation pics. Acksee the ar-teest. Yeah whatever.

Yeah, y�all have a nice day now.

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