tell it like it is

There is a certain peacefulness when you come to terms with and accept who you are. For example, I have accepted the fact that I will probably remain single and thus celibate for the rest of my life save a small miracle. I accept that most chicks would not be attracted to a short, skinny computer geek with crooked teeth, bad posture and still living at home. Add to that an almost non-existent personality, moodiness, pessimistic outlook and introversion and I climb another couple notches up the so-NOT-a-hot-stud list. Okay I have been told that I am cute, but that cute is more little brother cute than male-underwear-model cute. My sense of humor has degraded to dry and cynical. My attitude lately has been everyone and everything sucks ass. I have no saving grace qualities to offer either. I don’t make a six-figure salary or drive a nice car or own a downtown condo for all the gold diggers. I am not a clubber, rapper, scrapper, neither fast nor furious for all the good girls looking for a bad boy. I am not an artist, sculptor, writer, poet, musician, photographer, or independent filmmaker for all those artsy, Queen St. chicks. I am just a basic, econo, bottom-of-the-line model, male type human being with no frills, bells or whistles.

So my New Years resolution, albeit a little late, is that I will no longer be actively seeking a female companion until further notice. I will not worry about buying new clothes and trying to look cool (whatever that is). Instead of going out to places where single chicks are known to frequent I will stay at home and spend time in front of the computer, tweaking my stereo, or playing PS2. Now that is not to say I am no longer interested in hot chicks. Quite the contrary. I will still check out hot chicks, look at nudy pics, download Japanese porn and pleasure myself with well-practiced masturbatory techniques. But I will not go out of my way to make eye contact, attract attention or establish communications with said hot chicks. My new mantra is “if it happens, it happens.”

The acksee-stereo-equipment-condo-loft-new-car fund was dealt a dilapidating blow this weekend. I made a routine tune-up appointment for my little Honda for Saturday morning. My trusty 8-year-old little Honda. This was to be a fairly significant, Type 4, 3.1-hour service with an oil change, replacing spark plugs and other fluids. I figured $500 tops. Saturday noon, approximately 12:17PM, I got the dreaded Honda service-advisor call. Through the blur of words I was able to catch power steering fluid flush, fuel filter, fuel line, CV boots, brake line flush, service brakes, rear wheel cylinder, and heat shield. All to the tune of $1900. Nineteen hundred freakin dollars. One thousand nine hundred freaking dollars. One, niner, zero, zero. Do you know what kind of speakers nineteen hundred freakin dollars can buy? Looks like I will be bringing my lunch.

Based on my little rant above, I obviously did not go out on Valentine’s Day. I busied myself in typical geek fashion, working on my electronics projects, fiddling with the computer and tweaking the stereo. I am proud to say I made my first circuit board. Yeah, the silence is deafening (sound of distant crickets chirping). Hey, I’ve been working on it all week. Inhaling all those chemical fumes have probably killed off even more brain cells. Another boost to my fragile confidence was that after listening to SG’s system, I am happy to say that my system sounds much better than his. Yay for small victories.