happy cheerful polite social

Someone in Japan found this site by searching for “BRACK PORN PICTURES”. Tired, tired, tired but from what I don’t know.

Friday spent way too much money on film at Henry’s after work. Then AF1 calls to tell me that I’m responsible for wrapping the gifts for perfect beautiful people’s baby shower. It doesn’t matter that I’m going out for dinner, and I’ll be busy all day Saturday. Leave it to acksee to get the job done. At 8:45PM on a Friday night I was driving around trying to find wrapping paper big enough to wrap a playpen. I tried two drugstores and finally found a Hallmark store. Five minutes before they closed I rushed in and grabbed two rolls of the cheapest wrapping paper. It took me an hour and a half to wrap the playpen and all the other baby gifts. I got a paper cut.

Saturday morning fish tank buddy wanted to go up to Algonquin to look at the fall colors and shoot some photos. On a normal day I would have been happy to go. But on a day when I’m tired, and it’s cold and rainy out, I’m not a happy camper. The colors were pretty nice but with the on and off rain all day long I didn’t even shoot half a roll. It seemed like most of the day was spent in the car, looking out at the world through fogged up glass. We made it back at around 8:00PM, had dinner, and then I dragged my tired ass home. I was too tired to turn on the computer. I could only sit on the couch and stare at the TV for a few hours.

Sunday morning I woke up early (before 11:00AM) for some reason. It was too early to get dressed for the baby shower so I bummed around on the computer until AF1 called to say they were coming over to sign the card and help me load the playpen into the car without ripping the wrapping paper. Official start time of baby shower was 1:00PM. Perfect beautiful people’s perfect beautiful house was crowed with all their families and in-laws and nieces and nephews and coworkers and friends. I was freaking starvin marvin but it’s hard to stuff your face when there’s only a small buffet table, no where to sit, and people everywhere. I hate trying to eat while standing, trying to balance a plate in one hand, a drink in the other, and carrying on a conversation with someone I don’t really know. I considered locking myself in the bathroom to quietly eat my lunch in peace.

So I’m hungry and not in the mood for shooting photos, let alone being official photographer of the baby shower. The photos I like to take are nature/landscape shots. Trees, rocks, rivers, and beaches I like because they tend to stay relatively still. They don’t mind if you take 5 minutes to compose and adjust your camera. They won’t care if your shots turn out or not. AF1W and me became part of the paparazzi, snapping photos of pregnant woman and father-to-be doing the usual opening of the gifts, playing games, posing with other people. Perfect beautiful people seemed to love the spotlight. All eyes on them, flashes going off, hundreds of dollars in gifts. The lighting was bad, my hands were shaky, and there were people everywhere. Arms, cameras, and backs of people’s heads were constantly obscuring my view. All the ingredients for lovely pictures.

Hey I’m not bitter or angry. I’m not out to piss on anyone’s parade. I just don’t like these get-togethers. I’m just not a get-together type of guy. They are such a cliché. They all feel the same after a while, and that feeling is blah. Yes, the purpose is for people to celebrate an event with their friends and families. But it’s also a big, commercial, political hoopla. Hundreds of dollars spent on food, drinks, decorations, and gifts. There’s always tons of food leftover and garbage bags full of wrapping paper. And it’s time for bragging rights; who has the newest, nicest car; the latest electronic gadgets; the most exotic vacation; the brilliant career move; the new house in a trendy neighborhood. You have to gauge how much everyone else is spending on gifts so you don’t look like a cheap-ass. You have to make interesting chitchat. You have to watch what you say to whom. You have to pretend to be happy and cheerful and polite and social. Acksee is not happy and cheerful and polite and social.