all that i ask

Last night I went running after work. It was perfect running weather, nice and cool. I was feeling fine, not out of breath, legs feeling strong. I felt like I could have gone another mile after I finished my route. But when I got home I felt a little bit of tenderness in the knees. I think it’s time for new running shoes.

I’ve still got the hankerings for a kayak and been reading a bunch of review sites. They all say this kayak is great and that kayak is great but they all recommend that you should try before you buy. I don’t want to go test paddle a bunch of kayaks. There are hardly any places to go test out boats in Toronto; I have to drive an hour out of the city. I don’t want to go driving all over south-western Ontario and spend hours here and hours there testing out kayaks. I probably wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between this make and model and that make and model. It’s not like I’m buying a car or a house. I just want a stinkin kayak to go paddling in dammit. Do I need to get on the floor and throw a freakin tantrum?

Let’s talk about work. If you were sick of the people around you, sick of the work place, sick of what you do, then it would make sense to leave the company and move on right? But what if it’s your family, the house you call home, your friends, your job, the city you live in? Not so easy to just pick up, relocate and sever all ties is it?

Okay don’t mind me. I’m just in one of those moods. I don’t feel like doing anything but I want to do something. I want to crawl in my bed and I want to fly far, far away. I don’t know what I want but I want something. I feel empty and I feel ready to burst. I want silence and I want to scream. I want to run. I want to hide. I want to tear down the walls that hold me inside. Ooh, can someone say copyright infringement?