aristocrat shoulda been

Is it my imagination or are all these computer programmers a sickly, unhealthy, out of shape bunch? Most of these guys are in their mid-twenties to early thirties yet it sounds like a geriatric ward here in the fish tank. All day long I hear grunts, coughs, moans, snorts, hoarking, loud yawns, and all sorts of other weird bodily noises. Every time someone gets up or sits down I hear an “oof” or “ungh” or something to that effect. Most of these guys are pasty pale and paunchy. Mind you the brain power in this room is overwhelming but so is the geekiness. If it weren’t for the fact that they’re paying me good money I would probably run out of this place screaming like a little girl.

So what’s up with my kayak obsession? Well, not really obsession but for the past few days I keep picturing myself in a kayak, paddling in Lake Ontario. I’ve looked at kayak sites to check out different models; read up on polymers, fiberglass, and Kevlar; and even checked prices on paddles, PFD, spray skirts, paddle floats, throw-lines, etc. Could this be my new-flavor-of-the-month; the man-child urges in me to accumulate more toys and gadgets; another ploy to make me part with my hard-earned money?

And what’s up with all these expensive hobbies? Photography, stereo equipment, and now kayaking. Well expensive initially anyway. A hundred here, a hundred there, soon you’re into a thousand. I should have been born an aristocrat; son of Lord So-And-So; a poor rich kid with too much money and too much time. Instead of indulging in fine wine, cars, and women, I would be the aristocrat adventurer, trekking off to the far corners of the Earth, organizing expeditions to unexplored lands, taking magnificent photographs, and claiming uncharted territories and treasures for the motherland. Um yeah, a little too much National Geographic.

No, but really, I think kayaking would suit me well. It’s one of those solo, cardio type of activities like my photography and running. Yes it’s true, I’m a snob and I don’t like people. It’s something I could lose myself in, if just to escape from the rest of the world for an hour. It’s where I can sit back and take it easy or really try to push myself. I think the kayaking and photography would go well together. And on one of the kayaking sites, someone said kayaks are sexy, a gentleman’s boat. Oh yeah, I am definitely sexy.

I’m a techno-snob. Yes, I get impatient with people who are not techy. So you can imagine my joy when the madre asked me for the fifth time how to work her DVD player. A couple months ago she thought she would finally get with it and get a DVD player since her friends were watching the latest Chinese DVD movies. Considering that she still hasn’t figured out the VCR and barely manages with the TV remote, that is not a small step but a huge leap. She can’t seem to grasp the concept of first putting the disk in the machine AND THEN pressing play. It’s sorta like you put the food in the microwave AND THEN you enter the time and hit start. Yes acksee is a bad son.

How’s work you ask? Well there’s a demo tomorrow and of course acksee is the only left here working at 7:39PM on a Wednesday evening.